snoipahkat: hipsterdinosaurs: I can’t give you my heart because my heart is in the cards then give me the cards
s3xmoan: “ugh i hate my life” said the 15 year old girl as she tried on her size 0 skinny jeans and pulled her long blonde hair into a ponytail and then was driven home by her perfect boyfriend to her 4 story mansion with a pool and tennis court and walked into her gigantic room and laid on her king size bed with her fluffy puppy and picked up her iphone to texted her 6 best friends to go to the...
69daysofstylinson: friends who discuss gay porn together stay together
caesardomain asked: you! you were my anon!!!
the olympics: discovering hot guys you never knew existed
rel-ecno: losing friends to people you helped them meet
imawanchor: today a 15 year old girl won a gold medal in the olympics and i woke up at half one in the afternoon and stayed sat in the same spot for 6 hours
hanakatsumi: foxnewsofficial: i hope they use comic sans on your gravestone
One tectonic plate bumped into another and said… “Sorry, my fault.”
izzetheking: qpdb are the same letter just turned different ways and its pissing me off
batreaux: you walk over to the chamber of secrets and whisper “i have a crush on my cousin”. the basilisk comes over to you and says “you totally misinterpreted the use of this chamber and also you’re pretty fuckin gross”
snorlaxatives: i really really really really really really really ʎןןɐǝɹ ⓡⓔⓐⓛⓛⓨ REALLY don’t want to go back to school
Me watching the Olympics at age 8: Oh that's nice
Me watching the Olympics at age 12: Wow I hope we win
Me watching the Olympics at age 16: I'm going to fuck the entire swim team and no one can stop me
furrys: im afraid that school is going to conflict with my blog so i cant go
kburgerrrrrr: dont u dare lick ur fingers before giving me a paper
cockstreetboys: if sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with two people is called a twosome than i know why everyone calls you handsome
africans: god’s last name isn’t dammit
Person: What do you want for your birthday?
Me: *Forgets everything I have ever wanted*
mcsingle: foreveralone-lyguy: I found this in the theater while waiting to see the The Dark Knight Rises
A man: I want happiness.
Buddha: First remove "I", that's ego, then remove "want", that's desire. See? Now you are left with happiness.
A man: Fuck off Buddha that's not what I meant
tahnoscheeks: do you ever just get up from your computer to walk aimlessly around your house only to sit back down in front of the computer again
me: oh man my show is on i'm so excited to sit down and watch television for an hour
mom: turns on every sink in the house grinds coffee beans for five minutes reorganizes every pan in the cupboard starts a rock band
me watching the olympics: how
yusufdaistanbul: dragonloafs: mater—tua: yeffyaboyuice: manwaifu: >:I >BI >Bc